


Insomnia.

by Skodde



Series: 23 Writing prompts by RayneWolfspeaker. [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Weather, Coffee, Guilt, Insomnia, M/M, Mention of other realtionships, Mention of the other Nordics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:45:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skodde/pseuds/Skodde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little sleep and too much coffee can make you aggressive or depressed. Norway became neither, except when he did. Talking to a friend can sometimes help though. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insomnia.

It crackled from the fireplace, the cup in his hand gave of a nice heat, and the rain continued to pour down outside. And yet, in such a nice setting, he felt only irritated and gloomy. His foul mood was pieces created from what had happened the last few days and what was bound to come out of all this. Nothing good he knew.

His eyes were red, but not from crying, his hands were slightly shaking, yet not from fear, and his yawn came often, though it was not from boredom.  
As he let another yawn escape him could Norway hear the rain hit the glass of the window and the wood of the wall more harder. The wind picked up on its speed, making the whole house creak in anger, but it still stood, just like it always would.  
The weather was not a storm, just persistently bad. It had been like this since everything had happened between him and the other Nordics.

Norway could imagen what everyone would be doing, if they were not sleeping at the moment.  
Iceland, his dear brother, his dear little brother. He was probably talking to Hong Kong about everything that had happened, no doubt talking faster than what the other man could keep up with. Norway missed the time he was Iceland's source of outlet, but now he might never become it again.  
Denmark is no other place than at some bar somewhere. Getting shitfaced drunk and slurring out complaints and problems. Blaming himself for everything. Thinking he could somehow have prevented it all from happening. Norway had seen the man burry himself down that way too many times. Now he was the reason for it.  
Sweden is a fifty-fifty problem. Either he is outside Finland's place, trying to explain himself. Or he is making furniture. Sawing down trees, measuring them up, carving them to the right shape, then fine polishing them and then he breaks it and starts anew. It had been the man's routine to let out anger in such a way since Norway could remember. He would never let anyone see him in true rage.  
Finland, oh poor Finland. Refusing to hear Sweden's side of things and sending him away. He will make sure that Sealand is asleep, and then go down to the living room and cry. Never will he cry loudly, never again he said. So he will sit alone on the main floor and sob softly so no one will hear or know. However, Norway knows, he has walked in on such scenes many times, though only been noticed a few of them. He was now guilty in causing such a scene.  
And young Sealand, Norway hopes he will dream of nice things and not about the war, or the cold war. Hopefully he will dream about a pleasant memory he has of all of them together, smiling, happy. Not like they are now. Because if he were to wake up, he will no doubt see a side of Finland which he has tried to keep secret. Which Norway has tried to help stay secret out of respect for the cheerful nation. A secret he might now have revealed.

And while they all were in different places in the world, suffering to various degrees, did Norway sit in his old home and drink coffee, which had now gone lukewarm.  
He felt bad about everything that had happened, and he honestly wanted to fix things between him and the others. However, he did not know how he was going to mend things back together, he was not really a talker.  
But then again, it was him talking and making comments that had caused all of this. How weird it was that he had easier to say hatful things to others instead of coming with loving remarks.

A loud knocking came from the door, taking Norway out of his thoughts. The knocking was loud enough for Norway to fear that his door would break down. On other days he would get irritated or maybe even angry that someone would treat his precious house like this, but today the bad weather made him allow it.

Norway stood from the couch and put the coffee cup down on the table. His half asleep feet made it difficult to walk, the floor creaked under him, reminding him of the house's age. But he still reluctantly went to open the door for the great pretend leader of the Nordics.  
Honestly, it was only Denmark who would be dumb enough to force his way through this bad weather to just talk about what had happened. It was almost like the man knew when Norway wanted the least to see him, so that was when he would come. He still saw himself as a form of protector and leader to them. It was just plain stupid that he could not let that part of the past go. That he had to believe himself to be the fixer of everyone's problems.

But as Norway came closer to the door could he see a silhouette of a taller figure in the window. And though the knocking was loud, it did not seem like the man put to much force in it, as if he understood that the door was not what it used to be.

Norway opened the door for Sweden and let him walk inside, drenching his floor. Then he quickly put the lock back on again, not wanting the wind to force the door open. He already soon had to lay down new floor boards because of the creaking and the water damage.

It was weird though that it was Sweden of all of them that had come. Norway was sure if anyone were to come it would have been Denmark, but then again, it probably was as he thought, he was getting drunk somewhere. Sometimes Norway did not wish to be right, though he sadly were sometimes.

Norway, without looking at Sweden, started to walk back to the couch, were his lukewarm coffee was and the warm fireplace.

"For what ever reason you have come, just say what you came to say and leave." Norway said, stopping at the back of the couch, he turned around and looked Sweden in the eyes. "I'm in no better mood or mind today than I have been the other days." Norway without waiting for answer turned around again and went to sit down.

"Wh't h's h'ppened to yo'?" Sweden asked him in his mumbled speech.  
Norway stopped by the couch, not sitting down.

Who did Sweden think he was to ask something like that? Out of all the Nordics, out of all of them. Norway had changed the least, so was he not in the right to at least change a little if that was his wish? Had what he said really been that bad and not just the harsh truth?  
«What has happened to you?» The question rang in his mind, it seemed to have taken root in it. He wondered that himself sometimes. The endless night he had to think on such things, but he never came to an answer.

Norway was not sure if Sweden had said it in a sombre or accusing tone. Some days, it came easy to know what he said. Though today, like many days, it was not easy to understand what the big man said or felt.

"Nothing has happened. Now go!" Norway said with as much anger he could manage.

"No. Someth'ng h's h'ppened." Sweden said, ignoring Norway's previous comment.

Norway turned around, he could feel his body shaking in anger by the fact that Sweden dared to not listen to him. Sweden out of all of them who always wanted to solve things peacefully, who always tried to remain calm and who only wanted to be liked by others. _He_ was being stubborn.

Norway laughed. He laughed loudly. He laughed like he was a Viking again out on a raid on England's land.  
Sweden looked worried or disgusted, maybe both.

"Luk's, tell me wh't h'ppenend."

It was a plea, he knew. Sweden used Norway's human name, and he could feel this heaviness in his chest. He felt this immense guilt that ate away at him.  
He had always known that it was he who was in the wrong, but he just could not do anything about it. Now he felt like he had to do something or…or… he did not know what would happen. Maybe he felt like he was beyond saving if he did not fix things between him and the others.

He knew that in his heart he had meant every single word to a certain degree, but what he had said was too mean spirited and something he should have kept to himself.

Norway went over to Sweden, though He had no clue what he wanted to do. Perhaps he wanted a hug, so that was what Norway did. He hugged Sweden as tightly as he could and then he cried.  
Norway did not cry. Though many things from the history made him depressed or feel anguish, but he had stopped crying. He had made a promise as well to not cry, no matter what haunted his mind. Today was an exception. Today did not exist.

Two broad strong arms tightened around him, Norway knew that he got more than what he deserved from just being hugged back.

"I am so sorry. I am so truly sorry." Norway mumbled into Sweden's coat. His tears ran down on after the other. The salt water mixing with the rainwater on the floor. The rain fell down in beams, the wind howled, and the fireplace started to only becoming embers.  
And they stood just like that for a time. Norway crying and Sweden comforting him in his own silent way.

"I just snapped, okay. I just could not take it anymore. Every small thing that irritates me, I just could not take it anymore. I love you all, but I just came to a breaking point. And after I started I did not manage to stop myself." Norway talked out, not looking at Sweden, having his eyes tight shut, standing ready to be pushed away by the man.  
"I love Iceland. He is not a small nation that barley count as a country. He is my dear little brother, he is a part of me. I love him and I just want him to show some affection back. Like what he used to do when he was younger." Norway took some times to breath, feeling that he was almost hyperventilating.  
"And Denmark might often be annoying or clingy, but I know it is just his way to show affection. He has been with me through many hardships and I like to believe myself to be better than him, but I know he overdo me in many aspects of things. And… and… I love him." Norway felt new tears start to stream down his cheeks were the old tears had dried.  
"Finland is such a good person and country. We have never had much to do with each other as countries, but as people I could not have wished for a more cheerful friend. He is so caring and responsible. I understand how Sealand can see him a form of parental figure." His hands shook again and he felt like he was going to fall to his knees, but Norway had one more confession to make.  
"And Sweden." Norway finally dared to open his eyes and look at the man.  
"Sweden. You are loyal and kind. You have always tried your best. You have often been the one to truly understand and the one to know when to act. And when I told Finland that I could take you back whenever I wanted, that I had a choices between you and Denmark after I became independent. That was not true. I know where your heart lies, and it is not to me. However I want you to know that I love you. I don't know in which way, but I love you strongly and dearly." Norway had finally said his piece. He was done and ready to know that he was not forgiven. He knew. He had said many hateful and ugly things, but now he could at least believe that he had tried.

Suddenly the arms around him tightened and Norway understood that Sweden was hugging him again. If he had not cried already he would have cried again. Norway did not know what the hug meant. Was he forgiven? Or did Sweden just try to say the he at least understood?

"I love yo' too Norw'y." Sweden said and dried away the tears remaining on Norway's face.  
"B't I 'lso love Finl'nd, my he'rt is his." Sweden kissed Norway's forehead and stroke his hand through his hair. He was being so tender to Norway, so Kind. Norway did not have word. He could not remember last time they had such a moment together.

"when did yo' l'st sleep?" Sweden then suddenly asked.

Norway did not wish to answer. But when Sweden was being so honest and so gentle to him, even though he did not have too, Norway felt obliged to answer.

"Monday this week" Norway said as if it was no big deal.

"It is Frid'y." Sweden said in a worried tone.

"I know." Was all Norway could say.

"Yo' sho'ld h've told 's th't this h'd h'ppened 'g'in." Sweden said and hugged Norway again, this time more carefully, as if he was afraid he would break.

"S'mmer time insomni'?" he asked.

"Yes, but I this would still have happened! It's not the insomnia's fault. One day I would have snapped, it just help me get there faster." Norway knew that the easiest thing would have been to blame all that had happened on the insomnia, but that was why he did not do it. He had gotten this far in trying to mend things, he could at least go through with it.

"Let's get yo' to bed." Sweden said and walked Norway to his room.

The floor board still creaked, the wind howled, the rain poured, and Norway did not sleep that night. He did his best to talk and apologize to everyone he had snapped at. It was not easy for Norway to admit that he had done wrong. And he knew that though they said that things were okay between them, they would still need time to let that become wholly true.

* * *

 

A half year later, on an evening where all the Nordics had eaten dinner together, did everything felt like it had gone back to the usual. Denmark kiss Norway like he truly loved him again. It was the first time after Norway had snapped. Iceland in private gave Norway a hug and mumbled out something that could be interpreted as «Big brother». Norway there and then wanted to cry again. Finland, after everything, had worn an air of mistrust towards Norway, but today it was gone. Norway felt like he could breath again. And Norway knew that Sweden had never meant to confess his love for Norway that night. So he had been even more quiet around him after that, but it seemed like he had found peace with himself and could again talk to Norway.

That night. In the house they all built together, Norway finally slept.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this!  
> Honestly it was not easy to actually publish my first fanfic, but here I am...yay?
> 
> Betaed by BlessYou on ff.net
> 
> Stress level: 4 of 10  
> Hapiness: 8 of 10.
> 
> What Sweden says.  
> "What has happened to you?"  
> "Something has happened"  
> "Lukas tell me what happened"  
> "I love you too Norway." "But I also love Finland, my heart is his."  
> "When did you last sleep."  
> "It's Friday."  
> "You should have told us that this has happened again."  
> "Summer time Insomnia?"  
> "Let's get you to bed."


End file.
